My sweet friend D. actually received an e-mail with this title after breaking up with a crazy girl. The title was in reference to an earlier e-mail he had replied to with the title "You were raised by..." He knew it was the end when she told him that she wanted her future husband to be a "spiritual leader". He wants it to be known that they only dated for a short while and they never did "the nasty".
Here is the e-mail she sent him:
i was cleaning out old e-mails and i stumbled across this. i guess maybe this was your way of dropping a hint, but i was too oblivious to realize. when i read this, i was so touched and so happy to have met such a sensitive and insightful person. i thought we really connected on a deeper level. it makes me so sad and angry to think that you can't even understand me when i say something like "i feel for you feelings that i have never felt for any other guy." i have never been in love before and i idiotically thought that maybe i could fall for you, but it's quite obvious that you did not feel the same way.
thusfar, my emotions have progressed as follows: surprise > anger > betrayal > embarassment > and finally relief.
honest to goodness, i wish i was so much angrier than i am so that i could curse you out to your face and give you a good slap. that's not to say that i don't think that you're a f**king bastard for the way that you brought this all up. i have never cursed at anyone in any past relationship, so that should show the severity of dislike i have for your actions. i am sure you recall my bringing up an issue early on about how i wasn't sure if i could continue to date you because you didn't fit my ideal of a christ-centered guy. well what prevented you from saying anything about how you were feeling then? it was so uncomfortable for me to bring what i did up, but i felt that i owed it to you to let you know right from the start any doubts that were running through my mind. i guess you didn't have the courtesy or respect for me to do the same. your cowardice and selfishness truly disgusts me.
i feel betrayed in the sense that i gave you the benefit of the doubt because i was responding to your reaction at that time, which seemed like this earnest desire to get to know me when in reality you knew all along that you couldn't handle a serious relationship. for someone who thought that, don't you think you were putting it on a bit thick with your actions? volunteering to pick me up from clinic on fridays, volunteering to drive into the city and go to dinner and watch movies. you totally played me. and then there was the whole being physical thing. "when i get physical, i usually get emotionally attached as well." i trusted you. i guess this is my fault more than anyone else. i feel so foolish for buying into your crap.
however, underneath all the anger and hurt i do feel that a great burden has been lifted from me. when i woke up this morning, i actually felt i had a much more spritely step as i walked to work. i was standing a bit taller. perhaps intuitively, i think i knew all along that you did not reciprocate my feelings which is why i worried a great deal about how you felt about me. i'm not perfect d., but i do know that i need a guy who will appreciate all of me, flaws and all. i don't know what you felt that my expectations of you were really. more than anything i just wanted companionship and laughter which i found with you. i really hate you for making me feel that i did something wrong.
well i guess that's all that i have to say then. i'll send your ID back via snail mail. you can give it to some other girl and say that you're her biggest fan.
good luck with step 2 and residency interviews. i hope you achieve your goal of being the perfect doctor and make your parents proud. sorry to have wasted so much of your time.